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When a subject drives you angry

There are a lot of us living on this rock going around the sun.

Sometimes we don’t agree on things and get in each others faces. Certainly we don’t have to agree on everything. Allowing each of us to have our own observations and likes is of course a very basic right.

A while back I had a friend that had a very emotional response to something very casual and simple. It was a total surprise to me that something that plain would cause that reaction.

For me I have the experience that says if I have a strong emotional reaction there is something that _I_ have an issue with, not related to the other party in the discussion. In other words my reaction is not that the other person said it but something within me that caused the reaction.

This is good because it opens the door for me to be able to address it, unlike when someone else have an issue.

Why would I want to “address” it?

I don’t know about you but I like being in charge of MY life. I do not agree with being a victim. That does not lead to a happy life. And I do recognize that happy for some could mean not being beaten that day. For me I look at reasons to have a smile on my face. The fastest way is of course to just force yourself to smile and you soon find a reason to. 🙂

I’m talking about smiling from interactions with my fellow man, woman or child. Helping to improve others brings me the biggest joy, and I daresay helping others is the most valuable thing one can do.

So when a subject comes along that has that “out of control” reaction, I view that as something not desirable. I prefer to analytically look at something, let’s say an injustice, and work out how to best resolve it. Analytically, not reactively!

When I have a strong emotional reaction I don’t automatically jump on the bearer of the subject but how come _I_ have that reaction? I may ask what was the intention of the person with that communication, which might be to bring me down. Generally I can tell who my friends are and they don’t have that kind of intention. If they are not my friend – why should I get upset? Why not just recognize the communication as something someone else made and if upsetting to not allow it to continue having that effect?

I saw a mime that suggested to hold a grudge or upset is simply allowing  the other person to live in your head. Someone else suggested that the biggest secret of all might be the ability to forgive in spite of.

We are very occupied with what others may have done to us, rarely do we look at how our actions may have hurt someone else. There’s something behind every strong emotional reaction, 99% is from what we have done to others, not the other way around. I’d suggest think twice before yelling at someone else. Instead try to understand WHY they did and if your words/actions will help them.

Treating other the way you want to be treated is a healthy attitude.

For many that can be hard to follow but it is so very remunerative! Your reward is an increasingly happier life with fewer and fewer things getting you unhappy.

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